100% real

You know what's rare these days? Someone (preferably guys) who knows how to carry on a real conversation. Every now and then I will get these guys who want to meet me and we txt or chat but all they want is a hook up. Sorry I'm not like that. I want to get to know you and have a meaningful conversation about things. No I don't want to hook up with you, no I don't want to send nasty pictures to you nor do I want to talk dirty with you. I want to know what you like and don't like. I want to know what your goals are. What kind of music you like and what are your interests. I want to get to the point where we can cut up and chat about stupid random stuff but then be serious.  To me that's what a relationship is. Being connected and able to share your rants and how your day was. Its the guys that just want hook upa that later say I just can't find a good girl. Well I've only met and dated one guy out of the only 3 guys I've dated that knows how to carry on a real conversation. We just click and can talk about anything and everything!  That's what I want. Someone who is 100% real. Even my ex husband didn't carry on conversations. It was always about his rants and his day. Never how was your day. I know not everyone is ready to settle down and get married right away. I'm not either. I guess I just want things different this time when its my time to meet someone. I only dated my ex husband 5 months and then he proposed!  That was the biggest mistake. We never argued and he was shy and didn't talk. Maybe there are a few of you guys out there who wants what I want.

Happy girl!!!

Words can not describe the joy I have in my heart. My best friend had her baby boy on my daughters birthday. I had the pleasure this weekend to stay with his mom and dad and watch him while they slept. He is beyond precious!  Its been an all around good week and a blessed thanksgiving.  (Even though I spent it all by myself) :( but I'm not even complaining. Its been a rough yr but its the first time I have been really happy in a long time. Yes I have my days I get lonely but I have my friends and family to lift me up. If you are reading this and you have come into my life recently (friends, coworkers, past relationships) thank you for being there. Sometimes things don't work out but it was something that made you happy at one time. So I don't regret anything. Cause at one time it made me smile. I'm looking forward to see what the upcoming year holds. :)

In a quoting mood!! :)

Smash journal!!!!

I'm excited to get started on my smash journal!!! Here is an example of what one looks like. Mines gonna have about me, pictures, quotes, fave music, some of my poetry and blog entries! Its kind of like scrapbooking. Yay!!

A big ball of different.

I hate getting into my funks! :( I love music so much but all my fave songs right now are sappy break up songs. Ugh. And I was doing so good. I get asked so what are you like. Well.... I'm different from most girls. I like good conversations. I am outgoing, blunt, talkative, love music, I work hard, but lazy at times. I'm loud, but emotional.  I cry, I love to laugh and make ppl laugh. I'm nice but too nice. But I like to be mean. I love sports, being outdoors, I'm a country girl and like to get dirty. But I like to clean up and be girlish. I am the most random person you will ever meet. I care and love too much. Its hard to let go of ppl and things. I'm crazy in a good way. I'm a good girl but I sin like everyone else. I'm not perfect. I'm very A.D.D. I'm wierd but its ok. It don't take a lot to make me happy. I'm needy at times and loves to take care of ppl. I love to read and take pictures. I smile or try to fake it. I have anxiety and have my moments but that's me in a nutshell. I'm a lot more but nobody wants to take the time to get to know me. Whats wrong with me i ask??? I dont know..you tell me..I guess you can say...I'm a big ball of different. I'm me and that's all I can be....  I would write a book about myself and my life but I found something cool to do to put my thoughts,  quotes, pictures,  my life, my music into a magazine. I hope to start this really soon. I'm excited about doing it. Go check it out on pinterest or google and youtube. Its called "zine". Goodnight now. I feel better lol. Muah!!!! :)

Why I wasted all these tears on you!

I'm not going to lie. Its been hard getting over you. But once you do someone wrong so many times you kind of give up hope. I tried to be friends but I guess its obvious we can't. I will say I hope you find yourself. So hopefully this will be my last blog about you. Good luck.

Words fail..music speaks

Its amazing what music can do to you. If I didn't have music in my life I would be crazier than I am lol. It brings back memories.  It makes memories. Its therapeutic! It helps that I love all genres! It puts you in a good mood. It makes you laugh and cry. Its just good for the soul. Ive been wanting a tattoo and I think I'm going to get this.

Tired of being nice

I'm tired of being nice. I'm tired of forgiving and then being crapped on. No were not dating but I still want to be friends or trying to at least. I mean I guess by forgiving someone over and over they think its ok to hurt you. I mean you're in a relationship where they don't want to be with you or at least make an effort.  But hey that's your thing. At least I tried to be a good friend. I guess I'm only good enough when things arnt good enough with you. Stop saying you like me when all your doing is making things worse.

Why??

I hate being lonely. Its not that I want to be in a serious relationship or get married next week. I guess going from being with my ex husband and not getting the attention and affection and lifting up I needed and wanted, to being with someone who gave me all that and liked me for who I was. Its hard. I miss that. I guess its from not really having my dad in my life for the most part. I didn't get that daddy daughter attention. I'm not an attention getter or anything. I just like to have someone I can talk to, give me kisses, hold my hand, laugh with and be silly with. I'm happy with my life and I think I'm doing a dang good job being a single mom . Its hard sometimes but I think I'm doing good. I'm proud of myself and I have come a long way. Of course I'm not perfect and there is always room ffor improvements. I just don't have patients lol. I know God has someone out there for me. Its just hard waiting lol.

Yes

Men and mascara always run!!

Smile..it makes ppl wonder what your up to.

I do admit..I miss having someone around. Someone to hold hands with, talk to, go out and have fun with, cuddle with, laugh with. I guess I didnt get the attention and affection I needed when I was married and then after I divorced I found that.. for a short while for the first time ever. Im not saying I half to have someone in my life at all times. I am actully happy right now. Like that giddy feeling kind of happy. I have been in a good mood and laughing more. Spending time with friends and feeling really good lately!! So I cant complain!! Got some fun stuff going on here in the next several months. Its always busy this time of year!! Happy fall yall!!! :)

Just some sayings and quotes :)